The Pains of Being Clingy

Everything that exist in this lifetime changes.  Nothing remains constant.

From the moment we we opened our eyes, and became a being of this reality, we were designed to accept that somehow everything we see around us will constantly evolves..May it be the people we know, the buildings around us, or just the simple everyday things we see round us.

 Since I was a kid, I always had a hard time letting go of the familiar.

Yes, I am adventurous, I like to try new things, but there's this part of me that always hold on to the comfortable and safe.

 When I was 2 years old, I was introduced to the world of dance.  Some people even say, that I learned how to skip and gallop long before i even knew how to walk and run, and since it then it became my safe haven, my sanctuary.  Yes, I admit that I grew up trying everything new that life offered me..From skinning my knees while learning skateboarding to having rope burns and calloused hands while climbing, but I always find myself coming back to 1st love:DANCE

 That is how I am.  I'm an expert at holding on, but I am still learning the art of letting go.  I am a vice grip, when it comes to letting go of something that means so much to me.  I have this irrational fear that if I let go, they would all slowly fade and disappear from my world.

  I have been in school for more than half of my life, and despite of my clingyness, I never cried during graduation, because I believe that we my friends and I would eventually see each other after the event, but when I was in Medical School, it became more than I could handle, I tried to suppress my weakness, since I know after Medicine, we would all go on our separate lives, and I had a fear that the last day of internship would probably be the last time I would see some of my future colleagues.  Boards and oath taking came and I thought I would be oayk, but then The residency training started, and I found myself in another sticky situation.  As a resident physician, you are responsible for all the clerks and interns.  I found myself falling in love with each and everyone of my JIs and PGIs, and just when I thought there would be another day, I would realize that it's already the end of the rotation, and that dreaded shifting party is being organized.  I never enjoyed saying goodbye to my interns.  I always ahve a heavy heart when it's time for us to part ways, and each time i feel that pang of sadness, I go back to my comfort zone: a dim room, with barre and mirrors; the dance studio.  There, i dance my sadness away, and when another day begins, I pretend to be alright, with a pretend smile plastered to my face.  It